The Real Price of Sleep Deprivation
“Come on, come on… Turn green already!”
I gripped the steering wheel tightly as if I could somehow affect the timing of traffic lights through sheer force. The line of brake lights in front of me stretched on for what seemed like a half-mile. A grumbling noise from my stomach reminded me that I had skipped breakfast.
I looked at the clock — 8:57am! I was supposed to be there for a meeting in 3 minutes.
My mind raced as I simultaneously worried about arriving late, and berated myself for being in this position. “How could you do this again, Joseph!” (I’ll spare you the vulgarities.)
This was a typical day for me. I was constantly running on fumes. Waking up exhausted. Struggling to scrape myself out of bed.
Every morning had turned into a simulated torture session. My body felt as though it were weighed down by anvils. Moving a single body limb required every ounce of energy I could muster. “God, I don’t know if I can do this,” I thought to myself. “If this isn’t torture, I don’t know what is.”
The snooze button had become my regular companion each morning. 10 more minutes, that’s all I need. THEN I’ll be ready.
It was never true.
Finally, it was sheer panic and fear that would finally lurch me out of bed. The idea of getting fired was the only necessary force strong enough to overcome my body’s desire for more rest. Frantically I’d jump out of bed and scramble to get ready in 12 minutes before running out the door.
I would not really consider myself a functional human being in those moments. I was a half-sleep, half-wake jumbled bag of frantic and self-deprecating thoughts, propelled into action out of sheer necessity. My body did the things needed to present itself in public like a normal, functioning human being, even though I felt anything but. I was an automaton cloaked in human skin.
As it turns out, sleep deprivation has become a major challenge for millions of Americans. Approximately 1/3 of American adults average less than 7 hours of sleep per night, according to the Center for Disease Control’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (such an inspiring name, isn’t it?).
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As I stood at the coffee maker waiting for my daily dosage of Extra Dark Colombian Roast — the only thing remotely capable of zapping me back to life — I contemplated what I was doing with my life. “How is this getting me anywhere?” I thought to myself. Am I really performing at my absolute best?
Sleep Deprivation as a Badge of Honor
As I started to open my eyes to my own sleep situation, I noticed a wide-spread phenomenon happening all around me. People guzzling coffee to get through the day. The Starbucks drive-thru line wrapped around the building and overflowing into the street. The zombie-like walk of people going to their offices each morning.
Something in particular disturbed me. Friends and colleagues mentioning how they were getting by on 5, sometimes 4 hours of sleep or less. It was almost as though they were wearing it as a badge of honor.
“Look how hard-working and dedicated I am. Look how much I’m willing to sacrifice.”
Our society has glorified achievement and devalued sleep. Wealth and status trump rest and recovery. We admire those who can function on as little as possible. An infectious attitude has swept through our country, planting the (often unconscious) belief that sleep keeps us from getting more stuff done.
If you say this isn’t you, then answer this question: When was the last time you stayed up past your designated bed time to get more work done? (If you don’t have a designated bed time, then that also answers the question.)
Sleep deprivation may be contributing to our increased levels of conflict and violence
Sleep deprivation may also be contributing to the increasing levels of conflict and hatred spreading throughout our nation. Lack of sleep leads to increased irritability, anger and hostility. And when people are reaching across the political divide and debating hot topics, it’s hard to stay even-keeled when you’re already tired to begin with.
Reshaping my own relationship with sleep
Knowing that any change starts from within, I decided to first examine my own relationship with sleep. What I found in the dark recesses of my mind were deep-seated beliefs that I had no idea were influencing my ability to get a good night’s rest.
“Don’t be lazy!”
The voice in my head was clear and distinct, lecturing me if I happened to sleep in later than expected. It was something I heard plenty of growing up. And it had inevitably become deeply ingrained into my Operating System, contributing to a sense of restlessness and difficulty sleeping.
“I can sleep when I’m dead.”
This idea that I should try to do as many things as possible, as quickly as possible. More, more, more. Who has time for sleep when there are so many things to do?
“I don’t trust you anymore, Sleep. You’ve always let me down.”
When your friend repeatedly stands you up and leaves you hanging, you have a hard time trusting them. For me, sleep was that friend.
After years of repeating the same frazzled morning dash, the same torturous walk into the office, the same consumption of insane amounts of coffee, I realized that if I was going to make a change, I needed to reshape my beliefs around sleep. And through doing so, my body began to heal itself.
I started experiencing more energy. More mental clarity. Better mood.
On top of that, my productivity increased. I got fitter and stronger. And I felt less stressed.
And best of all, I could finally start doing the things I wanted to with my life. Running. Hiking. Socializing. All the things which had been put on the backburner for so many years.
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Many of us are scraping by with inadequate sleep. We try desperately to make ourselves feel better, whether with alcohol, social media or Venti Vanilla Lattes.
But it just doesn’t work.
As someone who’s experienced the torture of being chronically sleep deprived, I can confidently say that it is one of the most debilitating challenges one can face. It changes how we think, feel and behave. It leads to sadness, anger and frustration. And it robs us of the ability to truly enjoy our lives.
By giving myself more rest, I’ve been astonished at how much can change. It’s amazing how so many of our problems in life can be alleviated, if not cured, with a few consecutive nights of solid rest.
It’s still a work in progress. It’s not perfect yet, and I’d be lying if I said I have it 100% under control. But through reshaping my sleep habits and my beliefs about sleep (conscious and unconscious), I find myself much more relaxed when waiting for the traffic light to turn green.
